My mom gave me this Self help book for anxiety, which she wanted me to read. I started to read it today, and I've read three chapters til now. She was saying things like ''When you have read this book you will be cured'' and ''Now it can't go other ways than up'' ''You can't fall down with a book like this'' ''This has to be what helps you through''. The thing is, that is is great that she is positive, instead of negative, it's just that I don't feel like I have to be cured. I just have to get to know my own mind, and know how to control it. When people in general says that I have to be cured it makes me feel like I'm possessed, or like I have cancer, which I don't. This is just how I turned out to be, which can be bad for me from time to time, but still. It is me, and how I am.
The thing is that I think I am beyond the point where Self help books, actually helps.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012
Suffer for beauty
The headmaster at my primary school once told me that ''You have to suffer for beauty''. I remember this very well, it was right after I had gotten my ears pierced and I was whining to myself about the pain. He also added ''You will learn more about that when you grow up'' as he left. This sentence has haunted me the last couple of years, but first now I managed to put some words on it.
This might not be what he meant when he said it to me, but it is what it became to me. Sadly, or glady he will never know that.
I find beauty in scars. Not just self harmed scars, but any scars. Don't get me wrong, I don't want people to get them, or make more of them, but when they first have appeared on their skin... Why not just look at the beauty of them?
They signal a person battle, against themselves, against something unknown, or some sort of disease. You don't know where the scars comes from before you dig a little into the truth, and in to the person's life.
Some scars you thought was a disease might be self harmed, and some scars you thought was self harmed might have been an accident. You can never truly know that just by a look.
No matter the reason of the existence of the scars, you don't need to look down on them. They are nothing to be scared of, it's not a battle anyone have lost. It is a persons right to tell you where that or that scar comes from, even to tell you than ''I am the one who inflicted these scars''.
I can be honest and tell that I think anyone should be proud of their scars, but yet I think there is a fine line between cuts, ( I am talking about self harming here ) - and scars.
I don't really think you should go around showing your cuts, or anything like that. Because that can look really bad, and in my personal case I find cuts really personal, almost like something that needs to be censored . Scars on the other hand shows more a battle that is over at the moment, which you can be able to be proud of.
You don't need to be proud of your scars, no matter where they comes from. I'm just saying that there shouldn't be any reason for anyone at all, to be ashamed of their scars.
(http://gotgutsgetglory.tumblr.com/post/26328454769)
This might not be what he meant when he said it to me, but it is what it became to me. Sadly, or glady he will never know that.
I find beauty in scars. Not just self harmed scars, but any scars. Don't get me wrong, I don't want people to get them, or make more of them, but when they first have appeared on their skin... Why not just look at the beauty of them?
They signal a person battle, against themselves, against something unknown, or some sort of disease. You don't know where the scars comes from before you dig a little into the truth, and in to the person's life.
Some scars you thought was a disease might be self harmed, and some scars you thought was self harmed might have been an accident. You can never truly know that just by a look.
No matter the reason of the existence of the scars, you don't need to look down on them. They are nothing to be scared of, it's not a battle anyone have lost. It is a persons right to tell you where that or that scar comes from, even to tell you than ''I am the one who inflicted these scars''.
I can be honest and tell that I think anyone should be proud of their scars, but yet I think there is a fine line between cuts, ( I am talking about self harming here ) - and scars.
I don't really think you should go around showing your cuts, or anything like that. Because that can look really bad, and in my personal case I find cuts really personal, almost like something that needs to be censored . Scars on the other hand shows more a battle that is over at the moment, which you can be able to be proud of.
You don't need to be proud of your scars, no matter where they comes from. I'm just saying that there shouldn't be any reason for anyone at all, to be ashamed of their scars.
(http://gotgutsgetglory.tumblr.com/post/26328454769)
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